Always Perfect

The title? With regard to being a human - its a lie! There is only one that has ever fit that bill, and it was Jesus. That is why He is termed in Heb.12:2 as the "author and finisher of our faith"  He's the mark to strive for.  Many though for whatever reason do not comprehend that striving for something and being something are two different things. They set exacting standards that no one can meet (not even themselves), and then choose to become judges when others do not meet them. Life is not a joy, it becomes a chore.  Why is this? Because perfectionism is destructive to your life in several ways.

It crumbles the desire to want to do anything.  Many of us have had things that we state, “One of these days I’m going to get around to it,” but we never do because we wait for a perfect circumstance when there is none. Outrageously high standards and perfectionism causes paralysis, and you can’t get anything done because the time is never right. Nature itself teaches this -  Eccl.11:4, "He who observes the wind will not sow, and he who regards the clouds will not reap." 

It damages relationships. Perfectionism — the desire to always correct — damages relationships, because it’s rooted in insecurity. People like this are harsh and demanding on other people are really harsh and demanding on themselves. Nobody likes being nagged or corrected all the time. Pro 17:9  "Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends." The perfectionist never hears the second part of that verse because they are too busy being perfect.

It destroys happiness. Eccl.7:16 reminds us, "Be not overly righteous, and do not make yourself too wise. Why should you destroy yourself?" It's obvious that he’s not talking about genuine righteousness or real wisdom. He’s talking about perfectionism. You can take any virtue and make a vice out of it by taking it to the extreme. We often don't see that the worst nag...the worst critic is yourself. We tend to resent and even dislike people who nag us, yet if you’re always nagging yourself, what does that say about you? It says that you don’t like you. You think you’re not good enough. 

We operate under the misnomer that always reminding people of what’s wrong with them is going to motivate them into doing the right thing. It’s doesn't! In fact, it has the opposite outcome - people tend to rebel.  It is a comfort to know that God is not that way. This is what Paul learned on the road to Damascus, that can only learn to relax when you fully experience the liberating grace of God. To learn that God does indeed have laws, and expects us to listen to and obey them. Yet, He understands when we do not meet the precision of the letter. In fact, we often do not meet the letter of the law, which is why we are all dependant upon God's grace and understanding and pray for forgiveness.  When you learn how to relax in God’s liberating grace and break out of the prison of perfectionism, you will find a new level of joy and freedom in your life

When is the last time you showed someone grace and kindness, instead of demanding that they be perfect? When is the last time you complimented someone instead of reminding them that they never get it right? When is the last time you learned to experience the joy of God's forgiveness instead of demanding the perfection to the absolute letter of the law?  Or....are you too busy being perfect?

Jim